Courage, Communication & Care

 

Couples counseling helps couples learn HOW to talk about their problem, as well as WHAT that problem is.  Many people don't stop to ask, "Am I bringing this issue up in a way that I will be heard?"  "Is my anger preventing my partner from understanding me?" "Is my guilt and shame preventing my partner from telling me the honest truth?"  These 'process-oriented' questions are part of counseling, and once we slow down and start to work on listening and speaking from the heart, a deeper story of your relationship can unfold.

 

Many couples, through the process of counseling, learn to speak to one another in ways that encourage better conversations and a deeper connection.  A stronger feeling of connection allows more vulenerability and risk-taking, which in turn creates a better relationship. 

 

Attachment theorists, such as Dr. Susan Johnson, call this the language of love or the language of the heart.  When you speak to a loved one with care for their thoughts and feelings, they often respond in kind.  Many couples are already trying to share their love, but their words get mixed up with difficult feelings.  I encourage couples to try counseling and see what learning a new language of intimacy looks and feels like.